"Susan is like a friend more than anything," Becky, 19, a participant in the Youth Villages Transitional Living program, says of her mentor, Susan Bachman. They had spent the afternoon with Mrs. Bachman's sweet quarter horse, Turner.

For Becky, a friend, someone to provide consistent support and good advice, is a wonderful thing to have. She grew up in a troubled, unstable family and had developed emotional and behavioral problems. She experimented with drugs, and severe depression led her to suicide attempts. After failing at several treatment programs, she came to Youth Villages for help on a residential campus and then at a group home.

Becky met Mrs. Bachman at a critical point in her life, just as she was turning 18 and going out on her own. "When we met we talked about things that we both like," Mrs. Bachman says. "We both like horses, eating out and shopping, talking, just being together."

There's really no one better for Becky to be spending time with than Mrs. Bachman. The Hilton Hotels executive is a longtime Youth Villages volunteer. She volunteers to pick up homeless or runaway teens who call our Family Link Shelter for help. She's there at every Youth Villages event, serving soup at Soup Sunday, helping young fishermen at the Family Fun Fest and Fishing Rodeo. Becky is the second Youth Villages child Mrs. Bachman has mentored.

"She helped me when I first bought my car," Becky says. "I wasn't sure about insurance, tags and titles -- all those kinds of things. She told me who to call, where to go and helped me with the paperwork."

Mrs. Bachman takes Becky shopping for little treasures in quaint shops in Germantown and gives her advice on things like bank accounts and boyfriends.

"She inspires me," Mrs. Bachman says. "To be out in the world on your own and doing so well. She's been promoted at her job. She bought a used car for cash rather than trying to get a more expensive one at a high interest rate. She's making good decisions."

The admiration is mutual. "She gives me hope," Becky says. "We talk about my life, but we talk about her life too. She has a nice life, and I realize that the harder I work, the better my life will be."

Becky and her mentor are now talking about college, how to get grants and scholarships, possible academic majors -- and what they might want to do next weekend: maybe a movie, maybe some shopping, maybe they'll just hang out.

Candace Lockhart, a FedEx marketing specialist, is a longtime volunteer and mentor with Youth Villages. While she says she enjoys volunteering with the children of Youth Villages, it's spending one-on-one time with Julia, the girl she mentors, she looks forward to most.

"I really like to be a presence in her life," she says. "I just try to show her that there's another way to do things than what she has experienced. I try to lead by example and show her self respect. More than anything, I want to be her friend."

Lockhart first learned about Youth Villages' need for volunteers through her employer, FedEx in Collierville. She and a group of colleagues regularly volunteer with the children receiving help at Youth Villages, a private nonprofit organization based in Memphis that annually helps thousands of emotionally and behaviorally troubled children and their families. As her involvement with Youth Villages grew, she also learned about the importance of mentors in the children's lives. Julia is the fifth child Lockhart has mentored at Youth Villages. 

"Many children like Julia don't have any friends or family to visit them while they're receiving treatment at Youth Villages," she says. "It's a great feeling to be able to be there for them. Julia is so appreciative." 

Mentors are matched with a Youth Villages child based on mutual interests. Mentors must commit to visiting or taking their child off campus at least every two weeks for a minimum of six months. The first two meetings take place on campus so the child and mentor can get to know each other. 

A veteran mentor and volunteer, Lockhart's mentor relationship with Julia came about differently than mentor relationships ordinarily do. She and Julia already knew each other through Lockhart's volunteer efforts with FedEx. 

"One day, she just asked me 'why don't you mentor me?'" she says.

Realizing just how much Julia wanted a mentor, Lockhart asked the mentor coordinator to set up a meeting. After two mandatory on-campus visits, they were ready to go on outings.

Lockhart mostly takes Julia to the mall or to eat or to the movies, depending on what Julia wants to do. Sometimes, they spend time together on campus, playing board games and talking about relationships, what's going on in their lives and about the future.

"Julia says she wants to go into military," Lockhart says. "But right now, she's getting job skills at Youth Villages in food services. She is part of a culinary arts program there."

She also helps Julia with her treatment at Youth Villages. Before each outing, she communicates via e-mail or phone with Julia's counselor to update her on their last outing and to find out how the past week went for Julia.

"The children of Youth Villages, although they are receiving treatment, are just like any other children. They want to have fun," she says. "What's different is that I communicate with the counselor after every outing and to plan the next outing. Outings are a reward for working hard on advancing in their program. Consistency and structure helps them immensely, and, as mentors, we can help the children reach their goals by setting expectations."

Lockhart says outings to the mall are the perfect way to help expose Julia to new situations and help her improve her social skills.

"I always find ways to get her involved in communicating with store clerks or restaurant staff," she says.

She also has found that sharing her own problems and trials help Julia and the other children put their own troubles into perspective, she says.

"Sharing our own problems or how we have dealt with difficult situations is very helpful to the kids. I tell them about how I felt when my parents divorced; when my dad died. I tell them how I dealt with it. The kids are amazed that we have problems too. The great thing is that you can use your bad experiences and do something positive with them to help a child."

Lockhart also participates in monthly mentor program brown bag luncheons, a cooperative effort by various organizations in the Memphis area offering mentor services. The meetings, she says, help her get ideas on what to do during outings. Often, ball game tickets are handed out for mentors and their children, and always, mentors have a chance to exchange experiences and give each other advice.

"Mentors mean so much to our children," says Emily Thompson, a senior counselor at Youth Villages. "Many of them don't have anyone who visits them, and often, these children have so little to look forward to. But when they have a mentor who visits them, their faces just light up. They become happier and respond better to their treatment because they now have something that they look forward to." 

"My mentor relationship with Julia will last indefinitely -- if she wants to," Lockhart says. "I leave it open to the children whether they want to keep in touch. I will be there for Julia forever."

With 70 mentors, Youth Villages is the second largest one-to-one mentoring program in Shelby County, second only to Big Brothers Big Sisters. The need for mentors continues to grow. Youth Villages currently has 32 children in the Memphis area waiting for mentors, with more being added to the waiting list each week. If you are interested in mentoring a Youth Villages child or learning more about mentoring, call Tangina Sanders, mentor coordinator, Youth Villages, at (901) 252-7706 or send her an e-mail: tangina.sanders@youthvillages.org.