Some people decide to become mentors because they want to do something that really matters. Sally DiScenza is different. Everything she does matters - but she still makes time to be a mentor to a Youth Villages child.

Sally is a nurse practitioner at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital and a forensic examiner at the Memphis Sexual Assault Resource Center.

Sally heard about Youth Villages -- and our mentoring program -- from one of our former children. "She had been a Youth Villages child many years ago," Sally says. "But, she talked a lot about her mentor. She had no family. I remembered how much her mentor meant to her."

"I wanted to do something like that, something that would really reach someone," Sally says. She called Youth Villages to find out more about mentoring and was eventually paired with Nate.

"Nate is very active, and so am I," she says. "We both like sports. Nate is unbelievably gifted at sports, and he easily picks up just about anything -- racquetball, soccer. It was great from the beginning."

Every mentor must make a commitment to see their child at least twice a month for a six-month period. Sally visited Nate twice on our Dogwood campus, where he is receiving help. The two got to know each other, played board games and went out to kick a soccer ball around.

"I thought 'wow, what a neat child!'" she says. "Then, on our first off-campus pass, we played basketball, and I took him to lunch. He chose Chinese but wanted to stop by an Indian restaurant he saw on the way. They had a buffet, and he tried everything - I was amazed that a child at age 10 was so willing to try different things. He seemed so open to explore different options."

Soon, seeing Nate twice a month wasn't enough.

"Once you get involved, you really look forward to it," she says. "I see him at least once a week and always wonder how he's doing. You really become connected."

On Christmas morning, Sally takes Nate to visit the famous ducks at the Peabody in Memphis.
 
Sally enjoys seeing Nate smile, going to eat with him, watching movies, taking him to the YMCA for sports activities, satisfying his curiosity by finding answers to all his questions and even helping any way she can with his treatment.

Before scheduling a visit or outing, she calls Nate's counselor to discuss how she can help him reach goals. One of his recent goals has been learning to share with others.

"During our last outing, Nate chose little gifts for each of the children in his cottage," Sally says. "He even wrapped them himself. And he's learned to share his Gameboy with the other boys."

The Gameboy was her Christmas gift to Nate.

"I have never seen anyone enjoy a gift so much," she says.

Sally is now an advocate for the children of Youth Villages who are waiting for a mentor. For her, mentoring is a powerful solution to many of the problems children and youth have because of a lack of guidance.

"I am a believer that with anyone who is successful, there is someone who had a positive influence, someone who made an impact," she says. "As a mentor, you know that you're there to help guide and provide answers and also to teach lessons - showing children who have been through traumatic situations that people care about them, helping by being kind, generous and open so they get a different slant on the times when someone did not treat them well to hopefully change their perceptions."

But there is another reason why she is an advocate for mentoring.

"I enjoy it so much," she says.

If you are interested in mentoring a Youth Villages child, call Youth Villages at (901) 252-7706.

Becky Earl's life revolves around children. The Bartlett resident is a mother to two 18-year-old boys and a youth group leader at new Hope Christian Church. Still, she is making time to reach out to another child as a Youth Villages mentor.

Earl was familiar with Youth Villages and had driven past the Youth Villages Bartlett campus many times. She had also heard about Youth Villages from her husband, who supports Youth Villages through his company. Youth Villages is a private nonprofit organization that helps thousands of emotionally and behaviorally troubled children in Memphis and the Mid-South each year. Feeling comfortable with the teenage girls in her youth group, she called the Youth Villages mentor coordinator to set up an appointment to become a mentor to a Youth Villages teen.

"The mentor coordinator, talked with me about my preferences and hobbies. I wanted to mentor a teenage girl, and that's how I learned about Ananka," Earl says.

Earl first met Ananka on the Bartlett campus.

"We sat and talked," Earl says. "We both went into it not knowing what to expect of the other."

But Ananka and Earl found they have a lot in common. For both, spirituality is an important part of who they are. Earl also immediately appreciated Ananka for her warm and outgoing personality, she says.

"She is a people person, and she has a beautiful voice," Earl says. "When there's a song playing somewhere, she'll start to sing along. Music has always been an important part of her life."

Mentors and children are paired based on mutual interests. Mentor relationships last a minimum of six months, with mentors committing to visiting their child or going on outings at least every two weeks. After two on-campus meetings, mentors may begin taking their child for off-campus activities.

"Our first off-campus activity did not go perfectly," Earl says. "But Youth Villages staff told me that children often test new people in their lives to see whether they really will stick with them. I felt really strong about sticking with her, so I wrote her a letter to tell her how I felt and that I wanted to continue the relationship. We met again, and it's been going great since then. It's been a real blessing."

For outings, Earl takes Ananka to the movies, to the mall, to a restaurant or to church. Ananka also sometimes participates in Earl's youth group. As the two got to know each other better, the mentoring relationship grew, turning into a deepening friendship.

"We have a good relationship. We both come to the meetings excited to see each other," Earl says. "She asks me at the end of each meeting whether I will come see her next week."

"It's nice for me to spend time with her and to be able to be there for her and show her I care. I am not there to give advice, but I hope I can help steer her in directions she might not have thought of," Earl says.  

Earl also talks with Ananka about the goals for her future.

"She has many interests," Earl says. "She is thinking about attending Ole Miss or becoming a chef."

And she supports Ananka in her treatment. Before each outing, she calls her counselor to talk about what's going on in Ananka's life from the counselor's perspective. The counselor also asks for feedback on how the last outing went.

"Ananka says herself that she's learned a lot at Youth Villages -- she has learned to control the anger she used to feel and to respect authority, and she has realized the importance of moving along in her treatment," Earl says.

Learning about Ananka has helped Earl realize exactly how important being a mentor really is.

"Many of the children at Youth Villages really need someone who cares and cares enough to spend time with them," Earl says. "They don't have this one important person in her life whom they need so much. Mentors mean a lot to them."

Both Earl and Ananka say they hope their friendship will continue to grow and last beyond the time Ananka spends at Youth Villages.

"Ananka recently moved to a Youth Villages group home, and she asked me if I would still continue to visit her," Earl says. "I told her I thought that would be wonderful."